1 00:00:03,167 --> 00:00:05,836 For those of you who were too lazy to tune in last week... 2 00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:09,298 ...this is what you missed on Shameless. Thanks, Tim. 3 00:00:09,507 --> 00:00:10,841 Stay down. 4 00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:14,053 -How long was that? -Not long enough. 5 00:00:14,261 --> 00:00:16,305 City pools are filled with city kids. 6 00:00:16,514 --> 00:00:17,973 You need at least 90 seconds. 7 00:00:18,182 --> 00:00:21,143 Cancer's opening up a whole wonderful world for you. 8 00:00:21,352 --> 00:00:25,272 I was able to pull some strings and get you these special cancer pills. 9 00:00:25,481 --> 00:00:27,858 - Will they cure my cancer? - Depends on your attitude. 10 00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:30,861 I just got my one-year chip from Sex Addicts Anonymous. 11 00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:32,696 -I'll go slow. -Not gonna happen. 12 00:00:32,905 --> 00:00:35,616 Jody only wants to cuddle and do, like, missionaries. 13 00:00:35,824 --> 00:00:37,785 It's boring. 14 00:00:37,993 --> 00:00:41,664 If I kick it up a notch, there's no stopping me. It's an addiction. 15 00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:44,833 I think everyone at work other than me is blowing the manager. 16 00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:49,129 -Princess, I got it. Go take a break. -It's not a "break" break. It's a Bobby break. 17 00:00:49,338 --> 00:00:53,217 They're all gonna realize I'm not carrying my share of the load. Literally. 18 00:00:53,425 --> 00:00:55,386 Gotta save your sperm for baby-making. 19 00:00:55,594 --> 00:00:58,514 -This was a baby-making session? -Hoping so. 20 00:00:58,931 --> 00:01:02,810 Daddy, it's Molly. Mommy died. Please come. 21 00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:05,145 - Who the fuck's Molly? - She's my half-sister. 22 00:01:05,354 --> 00:01:06,689 That's just my girl penis. 23 00:01:06,897 --> 00:01:09,900 Looks exactly like a boy penis. 24 00:01:10,109 --> 00:01:12,611 -Am I coming with you? -You don't need to play house... 25 00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:16,657 ...with Mandy Milkovich. Doing shit like this signals something to a girl like her. 26 00:01:16,865 --> 00:01:19,368 Sure you know what kind of signals you're sending? 27 00:01:20,619 --> 00:01:22,871 Hey, Fiona, you've met my father. 28 00:01:25,207 --> 00:01:27,501 - Who the fuck are you? - It's Jimmy's dad. 29 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:29,128 Were you trying to screw Lip? 30 00:01:29,712 --> 00:01:34,090 -Ian. -I would like to report a negligent situation. 31 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:39,305 Six kids living in squalor, no parental supervision. 32 00:01:39,513 --> 00:01:40,889 They're all criminals. 33 00:01:41,097 --> 00:01:43,225 That is an all-time low. 34 00:03:03,847 --> 00:03:06,266 Fuck you, Gallagher. 35 00:03:19,279 --> 00:03:21,323 Dude. Little man in the canoe? 36 00:03:21,532 --> 00:03:25,619 -I'm sorry, but my game is off. -How does a tongue forget how to lick? 37 00:03:25,828 --> 00:03:28,831 It's the whole my-dad-is-gay-for-your-brother thing. 38 00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:31,667 It's on film loop in my brain. Ian's cock. Dad's mouth. 39 00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:35,587 -In-out-in-out... -It's just sex. He's still the same person. 40 00:03:35,796 --> 00:03:38,882 Is he? I'm re-thinking everything I even thought about him. 41 00:03:39,091 --> 00:03:42,720 In high school, when my friends came over, was he checking out their asses? 42 00:03:42,928 --> 00:03:46,348 Or that guy, Uncle Rick, his racquetball partner with feathered hair? 43 00:03:46,974 --> 00:03:49,727 -Do not leave. -Too hot in here anyway. 44 00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:52,062 Sheets sticking to my back. Gotta go to work. 45 00:03:52,271 --> 00:03:55,399 Be happy you have a real dad, not a thieving alcoholic deadbeat... 46 00:03:55,607 --> 00:03:57,818 ...who's puking into the silverware drawer. 47 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:05,492 Uh... 48 00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:09,496 Doing some work on the sewer main in a couple days. Just wanted to warn you. 49 00:04:09,705 --> 00:04:12,583 -Warn us what? -Water's gonna be shut off for the day. 50 00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:14,877 Oh, thanks. 51 00:04:34,938 --> 00:04:37,733 Honey? What is that for? 52 00:04:37,941 --> 00:04:39,610 Sex swing. 53 00:04:40,652 --> 00:04:42,905 Trying to see if it can bear both of us at once. 54 00:04:43,113 --> 00:04:47,826 If not, I can get us a four-post free-stander. 55 00:04:48,035 --> 00:04:49,411 Oh, God. 56 00:04:51,079 --> 00:04:53,123 What...? Is this...? Aren't we...? 57 00:04:53,332 --> 00:04:57,711 It's fine, it's just with all the, um, shipments and everything and just... 58 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,798 It's totally fine, it's just... I'm just not... 59 00:05:01,006 --> 00:05:04,468 I'm just not used to being, um, submissive. 60 00:05:04,676 --> 00:05:07,012 -You can be the dom tomorrow. -Okay, that's fine. 61 00:05:07,221 --> 00:05:10,057 It's good for us to grow. 62 00:05:11,058 --> 00:05:12,267 As people. 63 00:05:18,398 --> 00:05:20,400 Shower's free, who's next? 64 00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:35,791 Hey! 65 00:05:35,999 --> 00:05:37,793 She's not even related to us. 66 00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:40,796 Go pee downstairs. Go. 67 00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:44,424 How long you plan on keeping Molly around? 68 00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:47,845 -Till we find someone to take him in. -Are you looking? 69 00:05:48,053 --> 00:05:49,096 -Yeah. -Good. 70 00:05:49,304 --> 00:05:52,266 Might as well tell him he's a he while you're at it. 71 00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:02,776 Mm. 72 00:06:02,985 --> 00:06:04,528 -What time is it? -Sex-o-clock. 73 00:06:04,736 --> 00:06:06,738 -Quick, before Carl gets back. -No, I can't. 74 00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:08,073 I'm sleeping. 75 00:06:08,282 --> 00:06:11,910 I gotta, uh... I gotta help Carl set up for day-care. 76 00:06:12,119 --> 00:06:15,205 -I thought that was Debbie's job? -She's going to the pool today. 77 00:06:15,414 --> 00:06:17,583 So I promised I'd supervise. 78 00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:21,962 -Still sleeping. -What are your plans for the day? 79 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:25,841 Me and Kev are taking the ice cream truck to Indiana for a fireworks run. 80 00:06:26,049 --> 00:06:29,595 -Can we come? -No, we won't all fit on the way back. 81 00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:32,347 Our stash will probably take up half the truck, so... 82 00:06:32,556 --> 00:06:33,849 Can you do it tomorrow? 83 00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:37,519 I want us to take Molly to the beach before the weekend meatheads descend. 84 00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:41,857 Jesus. Other people exist maybe? 85 00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:45,777 No, we gotta get down there before the Roman candles sell out. 86 00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:51,450 Hey, did you find any, uh, Molly relatives? 87 00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:53,911 Tracked down the second cousin in the Navy on Facebook. 88 00:06:54,119 --> 00:06:57,164 -Did you post on his wall? -Status says he's on sea duty. 89 00:06:57,372 --> 00:06:59,958 -I'll do it when he gets back. -Right. Um... 90 00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:01,793 -When's that? -Didn't say. 91 00:07:03,629 --> 00:07:04,671 Okay. 92 00:07:06,006 --> 00:07:09,343 Heh. Look, cage the ferret, okay? 93 00:07:09,551 --> 00:07:11,970 Day-care parents don't appreciate morning muff. 94 00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:20,354 - Ha, ha. - Here you go. Good doggie. 95 00:07:22,272 --> 00:07:25,400 One hundred! One hundred seconds! 96 00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:28,820 Jimmy, I can't do breakfast, set up for day-care... 97 00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:31,907 ...and practice holding my breath all at the same time. 98 00:07:32,115 --> 00:07:33,825 - No! - Oh, it's still broken. 99 00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,577 It's a finger, not your neck. 100 00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:40,290 Carl, can you set up for day-care? I need to get to the pool at exactly 9 a.m. 101 00:07:40,499 --> 00:07:42,501 - It's opening day. - I'm feeding Liam. 102 00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,002 I can help. 103 00:07:44,211 --> 00:07:46,088 Thanks, Molly. 104 00:07:46,296 --> 00:07:48,382 Wipe down the exersaucers and teething toys... 105 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:51,510 ...then check the nap-pads for head-lice and boogers. 106 00:07:51,718 --> 00:07:53,220 That's a really pretty dress. 107 00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:58,225 It hides my girl-penis. Mom said it's impolite to show off my bulge. 108 00:07:59,768 --> 00:08:00,978 More coffee? 109 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,856 Uh, Lip, Ian? Come down here a sec? 110 00:08:07,359 --> 00:08:11,822 Okay, listen up, Gallaghers. And Milkoviches. 111 00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:16,493 They're digging the sewer main in a few days and shutting the water off. So we need to... 112 00:08:16,702 --> 00:08:20,122 -...do laundry and dishes beforehand. -What about toilets? 113 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,165 I guess we just won't flush that day. 114 00:08:22,374 --> 00:08:25,293 - Well, we could fill up buckets. - Gross. 115 00:08:27,045 --> 00:08:30,132 He crippled or something? Just so helpful. 116 00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:33,218 -Must be nice having a spouse. -They're digging up the lawn? 117 00:08:33,427 --> 00:08:36,179 -Yeah. -What about Aunt Ginger? 118 00:08:39,141 --> 00:08:40,600 Incoming. 119 00:08:44,604 --> 00:08:48,191 Okay. I'll be back for dinner. Buck up, kiddo. 120 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,445 No biggie, just my universe falling apart. 121 00:08:51,653 --> 00:08:52,946 Hey, there, fella. 122 00:08:53,155 --> 00:08:56,658 Ooh! Let's go take the Browns to the Super Bowl, huh? 123 00:09:10,422 --> 00:09:12,466 -Jesus. -Guess who came by today? 124 00:09:12,674 --> 00:09:15,927 The city. They're digging up the yard to work on the sewer line. 125 00:09:16,136 --> 00:09:18,930 You need to find Aunt Ginger before they do. 126 00:09:19,139 --> 00:09:20,182 Who? 127 00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:23,477 The dead relative whose social security checks you've been cashing? 128 00:09:23,935 --> 00:09:27,647 You buried her, you unbury her. 129 00:09:27,856 --> 00:09:29,066 Hand. 130 00:09:29,274 --> 00:09:31,777 -Come on, Debs. -Bye, Frank. 131 00:10:02,349 --> 00:10:06,228 -Not trying to look at my dick, are you? -I'm not. I'm not thinking about your dick. 132 00:10:06,436 --> 00:10:08,647 In my dad's mouth. I'm not. 133 00:10:08,855 --> 00:10:11,608 -Good, then don't. -Yep. Not. 134 00:10:11,817 --> 00:10:14,528 Ian's dick was in your dad's mouth? 135 00:10:14,736 --> 00:10:19,449 It's a figure of speech. It's like saying, "None of your business. 136 00:10:19,658 --> 00:10:21,743 Your dick's in my dad's mouth, man." 137 00:10:22,744 --> 00:10:25,205 - Who says that? - Gay dudes. 138 00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:27,332 -Is Ian gay? -No, no. 139 00:10:27,541 --> 00:10:29,000 It was euphemistic. 140 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:32,921 -Is that what gay people like to do? -Jesus. Forget it. 141 00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:36,758 Oh, uh, Jamie. You any good with power tools? 142 00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:40,679 Hey, Lip? I need your help. 143 00:10:41,388 --> 00:10:43,890 -Oh, busy! -Too busy to help your old man? 144 00:10:44,099 --> 00:10:46,768 Yes. Forever. 145 00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:48,103 Fucking... 146 00:10:50,772 --> 00:10:52,691 Hey, Ian? 147 00:10:52,899 --> 00:10:54,317 He's getting ready for work. 148 00:10:55,735 --> 00:10:57,487 Nice paint job. 149 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,157 -You got your shoes on? -Yeah. Why? 150 00:11:01,533 --> 00:11:05,996 We're going to Sheila's. Gonna grab some of dead Eddie's heavy-duty machines. 151 00:11:06,204 --> 00:11:08,206 That fella loved lawn equipment. 152 00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:09,666 But I'm sick. 153 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:12,335 You don't look sick to me. 154 00:11:12,544 --> 00:11:13,920 Cancer. 155 00:11:14,546 --> 00:11:16,047 Oh. 156 00:11:16,256 --> 00:11:17,841 The clinic called. 157 00:11:18,049 --> 00:11:21,136 The pills worked. No more cancer. Congrats. 158 00:11:21,928 --> 00:11:23,763 -I'm not dying? -No. 159 00:11:23,972 --> 00:11:25,681 -Can we have a party? -You bet. 160 00:11:25,891 --> 00:11:28,185 As soon as we dig up this old dead crack whore. 161 00:11:28,393 --> 00:11:30,145 Come on, let's go. 162 00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:03,511 Are you a lesbo? 163 00:12:06,181 --> 00:12:07,723 No. 164 00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:11,937 Although I know many people who have had relations with same-sex individuals. 165 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:15,774 I believe all people should have the right to love whomever they choose. 166 00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:19,611 And even though civil unions are legal in Illinois, it isn't enough. 167 00:12:19,819 --> 00:12:23,907 -Change is possible. It starts with us... -Stop staring at us, freak-bag. 168 00:12:24,115 --> 00:12:25,825 And grow some tits. 169 00:12:41,216 --> 00:12:45,887 Ha, ha. You hear that? They're going for the brass ring up there. I did that. 170 00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:48,932 Showed them the way. Like a headlamp in a coal mine. 171 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,893 You see, Frank Gallagher knows people. 172 00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:54,020 I just intuit. 173 00:12:54,229 --> 00:12:57,816 I was a... I was a psychology major... 174 00:12:58,441 --> 00:12:59,985 ...for a semester. 175 00:13:00,193 --> 00:13:01,236 -Dad? -Yeah. 176 00:13:01,444 --> 00:13:03,280 What's this? 177 00:13:03,488 --> 00:13:06,449 Uh, that's a pacifier for your anus. 178 00:13:16,584 --> 00:13:18,920 They're early! Frank! 179 00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:21,047 - Hello? - Can you be on baby duty? 180 00:13:21,715 --> 00:13:25,510 - Looks like a priest with a Nam vet. - Hello? 181 00:13:26,219 --> 00:13:30,015 It's Father Pete. He's with a hospice patient. A nun. 182 00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:33,643 They're out of room at St. Steven's. 183 00:13:37,647 --> 00:13:39,107 -Here. -Oh, there he is. 184 00:13:39,316 --> 00:13:40,525 Hey. 185 00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:44,863 - Hey, nice to see you again, Father Pete. - And you too, Jody. 186 00:13:46,031 --> 00:13:47,490 Hi, I'm Jody. 187 00:13:48,992 --> 00:13:50,327 I'm sorry about the mess. 188 00:13:50,535 --> 00:13:53,163 We've just been a little preoccupied. 189 00:13:53,371 --> 00:13:54,622 Not at all. 190 00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:56,124 Careful. Careful. 191 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:59,252 She's not long for this world, I'm afraid. 192 00:13:59,461 --> 00:14:02,838 She's taken a vow of silence, so you don't have to worry about her... 193 00:14:03,048 --> 00:14:05,633 ...keeping you up all night with her praying. 194 00:14:05,841 --> 00:14:09,637 -This is her pain medication. -Oh, right. Yeah. 195 00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:14,100 Oh, and make sure her iPad is always charged. 196 00:14:14,309 --> 00:14:16,728 She can play "Angry Birds" till the cows come home. 197 00:14:16,936 --> 00:14:18,480 Oh, well... 198 00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:21,608 That's just a, um, harness for patients. 199 00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:26,780 -Uh, shed key? -On the fridge. Top of the fridge. 200 00:14:27,322 --> 00:14:29,449 Why are you orange? 201 00:14:30,116 --> 00:14:31,534 Frank? 202 00:14:36,748 --> 00:14:40,418 Don't know what it is, Red, but, uh, I feel less alone in the world... 203 00:14:40,627 --> 00:14:44,047 ...knowing I can drive across town and find you here... 204 00:14:44,297 --> 00:14:48,134 ...bent over cans of chicken stock. 205 00:14:51,471 --> 00:14:53,181 Look, I'm sorry. 206 00:14:54,057 --> 00:14:55,141 Truly. 207 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,018 I just... 208 00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:04,192 Can you forgive a man who's falling apart a little? 209 00:15:06,569 --> 00:15:07,821 Yeah. 210 00:15:10,573 --> 00:15:12,534 -Can I kiss you? -No. 211 00:15:12,742 --> 00:15:13,827 Just a little? 212 00:15:17,122 --> 00:15:18,790 So listen... 213 00:15:19,874 --> 00:15:22,836 ...um, I need somebody to rob my house. 214 00:15:23,044 --> 00:15:24,963 And I'm hoping you could help. 215 00:15:26,297 --> 00:15:27,799 You want me to rob your house? 216 00:15:28,007 --> 00:15:31,469 Candace changed the locks on the house. My goddamn house. 217 00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:35,473 And she won't let me back in. So I need someone to steal my stuff. 218 00:15:36,141 --> 00:15:39,269 If I do it, the neighbors might recognize me. 219 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:44,232 You go in during daylight hours and you look like movers. 220 00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:47,110 You'll be fine. 221 00:15:47,318 --> 00:15:51,489 Look, she stays up till 3 a.m. drinking Stoli Vanilla and watching Bowflex ads. 222 00:15:51,698 --> 00:15:55,368 She'll be unconscious until well past noon. 223 00:15:57,579 --> 00:15:59,706 All right, this could be lucrative for you. 224 00:15:59,914 --> 00:16:02,250 You can take anything you want. It's all insured. 225 00:16:02,459 --> 00:16:06,421 All I want are my two Armani suits, my Lucian Freud... 226 00:16:06,629 --> 00:16:09,632 ...and my bottle of 1990 Chateau Latour Pauillac. 227 00:16:11,301 --> 00:16:14,179 What do you say? Will you do it? 228 00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:21,227 - Frank? - Yes, son? 229 00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:24,772 Why would a dude put his penis in another dude's mouth? 230 00:16:24,981 --> 00:16:28,151 Well, sometimes men discover things about themselves. 231 00:16:28,359 --> 00:16:32,113 Like they prefer male genitalia to female genitalia. 232 00:16:32,322 --> 00:16:36,242 Wait. So some guys like to lick wieners? 233 00:16:36,868 --> 00:16:40,413 Well, I'm sure at first they're attracted to each other's build. 234 00:16:40,622 --> 00:16:44,751 And once a connection gets made, then the wieners get licked. 235 00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:47,086 It's a scorcher today, ain't it? 236 00:16:49,631 --> 00:16:53,092 Produce, pick up Line 2. Produce. 237 00:16:54,928 --> 00:16:58,681 -Hey, Debs. How was the pool? -Great. Where are the swim diapers? 238 00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,391 Thanks. Uh, Aisle 9. 239 00:17:05,605 --> 00:17:07,357 Did you put tacks in my drawer? 240 00:17:08,149 --> 00:17:10,652 My baby sister should have got your job. 241 00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,905 Took me four months to teach her how to swallow without gagging. 242 00:17:14,113 --> 00:17:16,491 And for what? Not her fault she got a lazy eye. 243 00:17:16,699 --> 00:17:20,620 She was raised right. She don't think she's better than nobody. 244 00:17:21,246 --> 00:17:24,874 I'm sorry about your sister, but I got five kids to feed. 245 00:17:28,962 --> 00:17:30,004 Fiona? 246 00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:34,926 Oh, you know, just employee shenanigans. 247 00:17:35,134 --> 00:17:37,136 You got coupons for this? 248 00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:39,931 Customer needs assistance in the Meat Department. 249 00:17:40,932 --> 00:17:44,352 I got an 11:00 ovarian cyst, an 11:30 UTI... 250 00:17:44,561 --> 00:17:47,063 ...and a pre-teen pregnancy in the lobby. Why are you here... 251 00:17:47,272 --> 00:17:50,400 -...when I saw you two weeks ago? -Banging like bunnies, I can't get pregnant. 252 00:17:50,608 --> 00:17:52,860 -I need another exam. -It won't change anything. 253 00:17:53,069 --> 00:17:55,154 You said I had a chance of getting pregnant. 254 00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:57,156 I said you had very little chance. 255 00:17:57,365 --> 00:18:00,577 I also used the words "highly unlikely" and "wildly improbable." 256 00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:03,496 You got my baby girl's hopes up for nothing. 257 00:18:03,705 --> 00:18:07,333 I chose to mitigate a difficult discussion with upbeat and positive phrasings. 258 00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:10,086 I need the truth. Can I have a damn baby or not? 259 00:18:10,295 --> 00:18:15,008 Put it this way. You have a 99.999 chance of not getting pregnant. 260 00:18:15,216 --> 00:18:17,302 Nothing is impossible. 261 00:18:23,224 --> 00:18:25,518 So it's like one penis going into the other penis? 262 00:18:25,727 --> 00:18:28,396 Of course. When gay dudes get horny, their pee holes open. 263 00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:35,862 Hey. Swim diapers. 264 00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:40,658 Thank God, I've already had to fish out two poops. Thank you. 265 00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:54,130 - Daddy! - Hey. Whoa, you stink like bleach. 266 00:18:54,339 --> 00:18:55,798 Yeah, I was at the pool today. 267 00:18:56,007 --> 00:18:57,675 I stayed under for 112 seconds. 268 00:18:57,884 --> 00:19:02,639 Hey, good for you! Show those syphilis-ridden turbo-sluts a thing or two. 269 00:19:02,847 --> 00:19:05,975 They think they own the water just because they piss in it. 270 00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:07,852 We hit something. 271 00:19:08,311 --> 00:19:09,479 What's that smell? 272 00:19:11,189 --> 00:19:13,733 - The sewer line? - Oh, man. 273 00:19:13,941 --> 00:19:20,198 We probably should patch that up with some duct tape and a T-shirt. Oh, God. 274 00:19:24,994 --> 00:19:27,580 You sure we're digging in the right spot? 275 00:19:28,206 --> 00:19:29,707 - Ew! - Oh! 276 00:19:38,925 --> 00:19:42,053 Man, I can't believe your wife actually came to your house. 277 00:19:42,261 --> 00:19:44,597 I thought V was gonna rip her throat out. 278 00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:47,725 So, what's up with you and Mandy? You guys seem tight. 279 00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:49,686 I guess. 280 00:19:49,894 --> 00:19:51,312 She's gotten hella clingy. 281 00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:54,148 You rescued her cross-dressing sibling. 282 00:19:54,357 --> 00:19:58,486 You swashbuckled that shit, man. Seals the deal for a chick. I'm serious. 283 00:19:58,695 --> 00:20:01,114 Girls take that hero crap straight to the bank. 284 00:20:01,739 --> 00:20:03,449 She cook for you now? 285 00:20:03,658 --> 00:20:05,535 -Fold your clothes? -Sometimes. 286 00:20:05,743 --> 00:20:08,329 She stay over more than four nights a week? 287 00:20:08,538 --> 00:20:10,289 Help out with random stuff? 288 00:20:10,498 --> 00:20:12,834 Ah? Ah? Ha, ha. 289 00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:16,838 Dude, you are ghetto married. Enjoy it. 290 00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:19,424 You get all the perks, no paperwork. 291 00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:21,801 Guys would kill for that setup. 292 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:25,763 -I kind of hate it. -What's wrong with you, man? 293 00:20:26,597 --> 00:20:29,267 I think Karen messed you up bad. 294 00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:32,812 -Going home? Going home? -Yeah, yeah 295 00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,522 Gun it. 296 00:20:39,152 --> 00:20:40,695 Good work. 297 00:20:53,499 --> 00:20:55,334 Get your act together, lady. 298 00:20:56,878 --> 00:21:02,759 I got day-old chuck, two-day-old sirloin, couple of partially soft bagels... 299 00:21:02,967 --> 00:21:05,845 ...and like two gallons of nearly expired mayo. 300 00:21:06,053 --> 00:21:07,555 Oh, and a sheet cake. 301 00:21:07,764 --> 00:21:09,640 Joanie was late picking up her kid again. 302 00:21:09,849 --> 00:21:12,143 -Guess what the excuse was. Flat tire. -Flat tire? 303 00:21:12,351 --> 00:21:16,022 It's not the homo thing. Gays hit on me all the time and it doesn't bother me. 304 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:19,484 Of course they do. You wear designer jeans and coconut hair product. 305 00:21:19,692 --> 00:21:21,569 You're like gay flypaper. 306 00:21:21,778 --> 00:21:25,406 -"Haddy Birtbay Juby"? -Bakery guy is dyslexic. 307 00:21:25,615 --> 00:21:27,200 -Where's Frank? -Haven't seen him. 308 00:21:27,408 --> 00:21:29,869 He's gotta fill that hole where Ginger was. It reeks. 309 00:21:30,077 --> 00:21:32,955 -He forgot where he buried her. -You're kidding. 310 00:21:33,164 --> 00:21:37,210 - We couldn't find her. - And Carl busted the sewer line. 311 00:21:37,418 --> 00:21:40,922 -Wha...? You picking up guitar? -Bitches at work giving me shit. 312 00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:43,466 Thumbtacks in my change drawer. You believe that? 313 00:21:43,674 --> 00:21:44,759 Holy shit. 314 00:21:44,967 --> 00:21:48,471 Ah, we did good. Boom Town was good to us. 315 00:21:49,180 --> 00:21:51,974 -Blowing up the Hancock building? -We don't have room. 316 00:21:52,183 --> 00:21:55,603 -Can we store some here? -Are you nuts? Look at that kid's face. 317 00:21:55,812 --> 00:21:57,688 I'll put it in a no-Carl zone. 318 00:21:57,897 --> 00:21:59,982 - As if that exists. - Don't touch it. 319 00:22:00,191 --> 00:22:03,277 Wash your face, pyro. Mandy, make yourself useful, set the table. 320 00:22:03,486 --> 00:22:06,656 -You want pop, beer or ice water? -Uh, water's good. Thanks. 321 00:22:06,864 --> 00:22:08,115 Put these on Lip's bed. 322 00:22:12,537 --> 00:22:14,956 -She's out in a week, okay? -Which one? 323 00:22:18,042 --> 00:22:20,044 What's with Jimmy? That shit with his dad? 324 00:22:20,253 --> 00:22:21,796 He's pretty broken up about it. 325 00:22:22,004 --> 00:22:24,298 No one's dead, wounded or incarcerated. 326 00:22:24,507 --> 00:22:26,759 What do you expect? Rich kid from the North Side. 327 00:22:26,968 --> 00:22:30,137 It's his first big family crisis. He's taking it pretty hard. 328 00:22:30,345 --> 00:22:32,723 Left side of your mouth. Other left. 329 00:22:32,932 --> 00:22:35,142 Dude's got daddy issues. No wonder you dig him. 330 00:22:35,350 --> 00:22:36,853 I can hear you. 331 00:22:37,061 --> 00:22:39,647 Lip, reorganize the truck. Put the weed in the fridge... 332 00:22:39,856 --> 00:22:43,150 ...poppers in the freezer, smokes on top, bangers under the seats. 333 00:22:43,358 --> 00:22:45,194 - Yep. - I'll help. 334 00:22:45,403 --> 00:22:47,530 -Cake for dinner? -I gotta get to the Alibi. 335 00:22:47,738 --> 00:22:51,242 -Hey, what did the doc say this morning? -Never had a chance to go. 336 00:22:52,618 --> 00:22:54,453 Okay. I love you. 337 00:23:05,882 --> 00:23:07,425 Hey. 338 00:23:08,092 --> 00:23:10,385 -What about a surrogate? -You offering? 339 00:23:10,595 --> 00:23:13,514 Hell, no. Bet you can find someone good on Craigslist. 340 00:23:13,723 --> 00:23:16,601 Bitch gets paid, IVF docs get paid, medical bills... 341 00:23:16,809 --> 00:23:20,062 ...maternity clothes, lawyer fee, contract fees. Low end, 40 grand. 342 00:23:20,395 --> 00:23:23,608 I'd need a truckload of slave play to raise that kind of scratch. 343 00:23:23,816 --> 00:23:26,819 -What'll you do? -Something. 344 00:23:27,862 --> 00:23:31,449 Sister, I so admire the vow you've taken. 345 00:23:31,657 --> 00:23:36,411 It takes such strength to resist the lure of temptation. 346 00:23:36,621 --> 00:23:41,542 Verbally or otherwise. 347 00:23:44,295 --> 00:23:46,964 Oh, Sister, I'm... I'm so sorry. 348 00:23:47,173 --> 00:23:53,095 Jody and I are just experimenting with new liberties. 349 00:23:54,722 --> 00:23:58,851 As you know, our bodies are God's temple... 350 00:23:59,060 --> 00:24:02,897 ...and it's as if we're adding on a little wing or two. 351 00:24:05,650 --> 00:24:10,738 So there's no way in the world you would ever talk? 352 00:24:16,202 --> 00:24:21,582 Sister, Jody is pushing me to new levels. 353 00:24:21,791 --> 00:24:23,793 It's completely my fault. 354 00:24:24,001 --> 00:24:28,547 He warned me not to go through this gateway with him. 355 00:24:29,131 --> 00:24:32,385 And I wouldn't listen. And now I can't find my way back. 356 00:24:32,593 --> 00:24:35,262 I've never had so many things inserted... 357 00:24:35,470 --> 00:24:40,101 ...into so many parts of my body at once. 358 00:24:40,935 --> 00:24:45,439 Have I encouraged him to overstep his boundaries? 359 00:24:45,648 --> 00:24:50,695 Or am I helping him to create new and healthy ones? 360 00:24:55,157 --> 00:24:57,618 Because I admit... 361 00:24:57,827 --> 00:25:01,664 ...inflicting sexual pain... 362 00:25:02,039 --> 00:25:04,499 ...gives me great pleasure. 363 00:25:07,712 --> 00:25:10,923 You ready, mama? Batteries are charged. 364 00:25:11,132 --> 00:25:13,134 Oh, Sister, I feel so much better. 365 00:25:13,551 --> 00:25:17,304 Thank you for letting me get it off my chest. 366 00:25:18,389 --> 00:25:20,349 Oh, you're a good one. 367 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,106 Gloves? 368 00:25:27,481 --> 00:25:30,067 Got some cuts on my hands at work. 369 00:25:30,609 --> 00:25:33,320 -I think it's dry. -Oh. Sorry. 370 00:25:33,528 --> 00:25:36,323 Oh, my God. I just realized. 371 00:25:36,531 --> 00:25:39,785 That huge fight Dad had with Mr. Ward, my gay seventh grade teacher. 372 00:25:39,994 --> 00:25:42,204 I thought it was the grade on my mold project. 373 00:25:42,413 --> 00:25:47,001 But they kept on excusing themselves to discuss it in private. I am such an idiot. 374 00:25:47,209 --> 00:25:49,253 That wedding in Hawaii when I was in school. 375 00:25:49,462 --> 00:25:52,715 Me, Mom and Chip went to bed and Dad stayed up dancing all night... 376 00:25:52,923 --> 00:25:54,425 ...with the best man. 377 00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:56,844 What gets me is he couldn't tell me the truth. 378 00:25:57,053 --> 00:25:59,805 Did he think I wouldn't accept him? I'd think less of him? 379 00:26:00,014 --> 00:26:02,975 Why didn't he trust me? Am I the only one who didn't know? 380 00:26:03,434 --> 00:26:05,936 Does my brother know? Oh, I bet you my brother knows. 381 00:26:25,206 --> 00:26:30,086 -Wait. So there's butt hole involved? -Sometimes. Not always. 382 00:26:30,795 --> 00:26:33,714 Ian and I are gonna get high and watch Family Guy. Wanna come? 383 00:26:33,923 --> 00:26:36,008 Uh, I've been driving all day. I'm exhausted. 384 00:26:36,591 --> 00:26:39,386 Doing a night load. Any takers? 385 00:26:42,431 --> 00:26:43,557 Lip? Nothing? 386 00:26:43,766 --> 00:26:45,184 Did ours this afternoon. 387 00:26:45,392 --> 00:26:49,604 Maybe next time you wanna throw in Debbie or Carl or Liam's with yours. 388 00:26:49,814 --> 00:26:52,775 Sure. No problem. 389 00:26:52,983 --> 00:26:56,028 Hey, if you change your mind, come down, okay? 390 00:26:56,237 --> 00:26:57,822 Mm. 391 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,702 I need to know where the gay wieners go. 392 00:27:07,706 --> 00:27:09,959 Know how you plunge a toilet when it's backed up? 393 00:27:10,167 --> 00:27:11,877 -Yeah. -Think of it as... 394 00:27:12,086 --> 00:27:14,713 ...one dude plunging another dude's toilet. 395 00:27:26,058 --> 00:27:28,978 -We could always adopt. -I don't want someone else's kid. 396 00:27:29,186 --> 00:27:33,149 I want a little punk with your pretty eyes and your crooked smile. 397 00:27:35,151 --> 00:27:38,112 I don't know, V. At some point... 398 00:27:38,696 --> 00:27:41,699 ...we might have to accept that it's not meant to be. 399 00:27:41,907 --> 00:27:44,118 Not meant to be? 400 00:27:44,535 --> 00:27:47,705 Was I meant to get an STD at 17 from some lame-ass rapper... 401 00:27:47,913 --> 00:27:49,915 ...that would trash my tubes? 402 00:27:50,124 --> 00:27:53,460 Was I meant to Google him all afternoon to find out he has eight kids? 403 00:27:53,668 --> 00:27:56,213 Was I meant to friend him on Facebook to write... 404 00:27:56,422 --> 00:27:58,966 ...some psychotic rant about how he ruined my life? 405 00:27:59,175 --> 00:28:01,010 -Baby, it's okay. -No, it's not. 406 00:28:01,218 --> 00:28:04,138 Fuck his weak-ass rhymes, fuck that tree-frog-looking doctor... 407 00:28:04,346 --> 00:28:07,850 ...and fuck all the fucking money I spent on condoms the last 20 years. 408 00:28:08,058 --> 00:28:09,977 And fuck you for acting like you don't wanna fight for this. 409 00:28:10,186 --> 00:28:11,729 Whoa. 410 00:28:13,022 --> 00:28:15,649 You know I do. More than anything. 411 00:28:16,859 --> 00:28:18,736 Then let's fight. 412 00:28:31,498 --> 00:28:34,668 Enough with the kicking. Christ. 413 00:28:34,877 --> 00:28:38,297 -Where is she? -I can't find... I give up. 414 00:28:38,505 --> 00:28:40,966 -I need sleep. -Let me spell this out for you. 415 00:28:41,175 --> 00:28:43,427 The city digs up some bones. The police show up. 416 00:28:43,636 --> 00:28:46,430 The figure out it's Aunt Ginger. They date the bones. 417 00:28:46,639 --> 00:28:49,225 They realize she's been dead for 14 years... 418 00:28:49,433 --> 00:28:54,230 ...and yet her social security checks are being cashed every month. 419 00:28:54,438 --> 00:28:56,523 This isn't a DUI, Frank. 420 00:28:56,732 --> 00:28:59,902 You buried a body and you stole from the federal government. 421 00:29:00,110 --> 00:29:02,821 You will never get out of prison. 422 00:29:03,906 --> 00:29:05,658 Think about it. 423 00:29:09,495 --> 00:29:11,080 Fuck. 424 00:29:17,086 --> 00:29:20,381 Hey. You know the guy you beat the shit out of at that club? 425 00:29:21,507 --> 00:29:24,343 He wants me to sneak into his mansion, take all of his crap. 426 00:29:24,551 --> 00:29:26,470 Really? 427 00:29:26,679 --> 00:29:28,222 Hilarious. 428 00:29:28,430 --> 00:29:30,224 He can't get it himself. 429 00:29:31,016 --> 00:29:32,226 Divorce. 430 00:29:32,434 --> 00:29:36,105 Says I can take whatever I want. He's loaded. You want in? 431 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,442 Jesus. 432 00:29:40,651 --> 00:29:42,903 Use blanks, maybe? 433 00:29:43,112 --> 00:29:44,446 Can I bring my cousins? 434 00:29:44,655 --> 00:29:47,741 -Yeah. -All right. I'm in. 435 00:29:48,826 --> 00:29:51,704 I don't know what you see in that geriatric Viagroid. 436 00:29:51,912 --> 00:29:54,456 He buys me stuff. Orders me room service. 437 00:29:59,211 --> 00:30:00,838 He isn't afraid to kiss me. 438 00:30:07,594 --> 00:30:08,637 We're low on joints. 439 00:30:08,846 --> 00:30:11,515 I got extra weed in the fridge but it needs rolling. 440 00:30:12,182 --> 00:30:14,184 You guys look like you could use some help. 441 00:30:14,393 --> 00:30:16,895 -Yeah, that would be great. -No, we're good, thanks. 442 00:30:17,104 --> 00:30:19,148 - Can you roll us some spliffs? - Sure. 443 00:30:19,356 --> 00:30:21,567 - Weed, papers? - Right there. 444 00:30:21,775 --> 00:30:23,694 You guys are really killing it. 445 00:30:23,902 --> 00:30:25,696 Ho! You are a giant. 446 00:30:25,904 --> 00:30:28,407 Ask me if I play basketball and I'll punch your nuts. 447 00:30:28,949 --> 00:30:30,409 What do you want? 448 00:30:30,617 --> 00:30:33,037 Two fountains, sparklers, three joints, Bomb Pop. 449 00:30:33,245 --> 00:30:36,290 -You got any community service hours left? -Why? 450 00:30:36,498 --> 00:30:39,626 -Molly could help. He offered. -No. You know, I'm covered. 451 00:30:39,835 --> 00:30:42,921 -We're good. You can go. -You know what? Have her stick around. 452 00:30:43,130 --> 00:30:45,716 -I gotta hit the Alibi in 10 minutes. -I can handle it. 453 00:30:45,924 --> 00:30:49,178 -I'm good to stay. -No, please, just go home, Mandy. 454 00:30:50,220 --> 00:30:52,598 To your own fucking house for once. 455 00:31:03,567 --> 00:31:05,486 That was harsh. 456 00:31:19,917 --> 00:31:23,545 Heh. Really, ladies? Really funny. 457 00:31:30,094 --> 00:31:34,681 Hi, this is Fiona. Uh, I'm working Register 2. I'm locked in the bathroom. 458 00:31:34,890 --> 00:31:37,017 I did try the knob. 459 00:31:37,226 --> 00:31:39,061 Fine. I'll try again. 460 00:31:48,362 --> 00:31:51,907 On what planet is it cool for you to take a smoke break in the bathroom? 461 00:31:52,116 --> 00:31:54,743 I don't even smoke Parliaments. 462 00:32:31,864 --> 00:32:35,659 -Holy crap. Congrats on your puberty. -Yeah. 463 00:32:35,868 --> 00:32:37,286 Your tits look great. 464 00:32:38,078 --> 00:32:40,789 Thanks. You know, they always say it happens overnight. 465 00:32:40,998 --> 00:32:43,792 Go for a swim. Try out your new bod. 466 00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:45,461 Okay. 467 00:32:58,390 --> 00:33:00,934 -It's my fourth. -I don't care if it's your 44th. 468 00:33:01,143 --> 00:33:03,520 -We don't do buybacks. -I'm broke. 469 00:33:03,729 --> 00:33:08,525 Hey, news flash, princess. So is 150 percent of the patronage here. 470 00:33:09,902 --> 00:33:12,779 There she is. Welcome back. How was your vacay? 471 00:33:12,988 --> 00:33:15,949 I went surfing, got hit by a Jet Ski, saw a dolphin masturbate. 472 00:33:16,158 --> 00:33:20,329 Yeah, well, my finger's broken, my parents are divorced, and my dad's a fairy, so... 473 00:33:20,537 --> 00:33:21,705 A fairy? 474 00:33:21,914 --> 00:33:23,290 Hello, 1983. 475 00:33:23,790 --> 00:33:26,960 -Did you get my CO2? -Yeah. Make it quick? I gotta get out of here. 476 00:33:27,169 --> 00:33:29,379 -Yeah, yeah. -Thank you. 477 00:33:30,964 --> 00:33:32,049 Hey. 478 00:33:32,257 --> 00:33:35,385 You know, not for nothing... 479 00:33:35,677 --> 00:33:38,555 ...but, uh, no one likes to hear a grown man whine. 480 00:33:38,764 --> 00:33:41,433 It's like the verbal equivalent of a dude wearing UGGs. 481 00:33:41,642 --> 00:33:43,936 - I appreciate the sympathy. Thanks. - Get over it. 482 00:33:44,144 --> 00:33:47,564 Fiona doesn't have room. She's busting her ass to keep food on the table. 483 00:33:47,773 --> 00:33:50,317 Good denizens of Cook County, I have a proposition. 484 00:33:50,526 --> 00:33:53,195 What the fuck is it now, Frank? Jesus. 485 00:33:53,403 --> 00:33:56,240 Do you remember...? Do you remember the hold up... 486 00:33:56,448 --> 00:33:59,910 ...of that jewelry store on South Ashland in '92? 487 00:34:00,118 --> 00:34:02,454 - Yeah. - Bastards cleaned out these spics... 488 00:34:02,663 --> 00:34:04,748 ...of every piece of crap that they had? 489 00:34:04,957 --> 00:34:07,084 That was my mother. She did the heist. 490 00:34:07,292 --> 00:34:10,754 And I think she buried the crap in my backyard. 491 00:34:10,963 --> 00:34:13,632 -How do you know that? -Well, she stashed it somewhere. 492 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,759 And then she forgot where. 493 00:34:15,968 --> 00:34:18,720 So the other day I was planting some basil. 494 00:34:18,929 --> 00:34:23,600 I've recently gotten back into gardening. And I found this. 495 00:34:23,809 --> 00:34:25,477 Shit. Is that gold? 496 00:34:25,686 --> 00:34:28,021 Could be. Pretty dirty. Gotta get it appraised. 497 00:34:28,230 --> 00:34:32,234 The point being, this is only the tip of the golden iceberg. 498 00:34:32,442 --> 00:34:34,945 Now, I can't dig it all up by myself. 499 00:34:35,153 --> 00:34:40,576 So I will give a sizable cut to anyone who helps me unearth it. 500 00:34:40,784 --> 00:34:42,661 So who's with me? 501 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,413 - No. - No fucking way. 502 00:34:44,621 --> 00:34:46,248 You're out of your mind, Frank. 503 00:34:46,456 --> 00:34:48,333 -Fuck it. Why not? -I'm in. 504 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:52,212 There you go. Bravo, soldiers. Onward, onward. Let's go. 505 00:34:52,421 --> 00:34:54,715 - Let's do it. - That's the spirit. 506 00:34:54,923 --> 00:34:57,009 This is what made America great. 507 00:35:11,898 --> 00:35:15,277 -Ew, period. -Period. 508 00:35:31,084 --> 00:35:33,920 Hey, what'd I miss at the pool? 509 00:35:37,674 --> 00:35:39,343 Hi. 510 00:35:39,551 --> 00:35:40,969 Hi. 511 00:35:46,558 --> 00:35:49,728 Let's just make sure we explored all other options. 512 00:35:50,020 --> 00:35:51,688 Okay. 513 00:35:51,938 --> 00:35:53,899 What about that maid you used to work with? 514 00:35:54,107 --> 00:35:56,276 Chantrelle? Too crazy. 515 00:35:56,485 --> 00:35:59,571 -How about Macie at the old folks' home? -Too medicated. 516 00:35:59,780 --> 00:36:02,240 -Fiona. -Too white. 517 00:36:02,824 --> 00:36:04,493 Really? Is that a concern of yours? 518 00:36:04,785 --> 00:36:08,413 I want it to have my genetic material. Or at least look like it does. 519 00:36:08,622 --> 00:36:10,248 What about your cousin Sharonda? 520 00:36:10,457 --> 00:36:14,336 I called her this morning. She fell off the wagon, was fried by noon. 521 00:36:14,544 --> 00:36:17,047 Well, what about your other cousin, the, uh, pretty one? 522 00:36:17,255 --> 00:36:19,174 Oh, the pretty one? 523 00:36:19,383 --> 00:36:22,052 No, because I want our kid to look pretty like you. 524 00:36:22,260 --> 00:36:24,262 She's 13. 525 00:36:24,471 --> 00:36:25,764 Wow. 526 00:36:25,972 --> 00:36:28,100 She seems older. 527 00:36:36,483 --> 00:36:39,236 Jesus. Oh, my God. 528 00:36:39,444 --> 00:36:41,738 Mother of Christ, it stinks. 529 00:36:41,947 --> 00:36:43,949 Did someone shit in the yard? 530 00:36:44,157 --> 00:36:45,659 Shut up. Keep digging. 531 00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:48,453 The one-armed wonder is making more progress than you. 532 00:36:48,662 --> 00:36:50,247 This is as far as you got? 533 00:36:50,455 --> 00:36:52,791 Don't judge. 534 00:36:53,583 --> 00:36:58,422 Frank? You know for certain there's jewelry buried out here? 535 00:36:59,715 --> 00:37:02,968 Uh, you know what? Try along that fence there. 536 00:37:03,176 --> 00:37:07,139 I saw her rooting around in there like a badger. 537 00:37:08,181 --> 00:37:11,643 Wowie. Desert Storm night at the Cheesecake Factory? 538 00:37:11,852 --> 00:37:13,937 Why are you acting like a dick to Mandy? 539 00:37:14,146 --> 00:37:17,315 I think that qualifies as none of your fucking business. 540 00:37:17,524 --> 00:37:20,652 She called me from her aunt's house. Said you told her to go home. 541 00:37:20,861 --> 00:37:23,405 -Is Molly leaving too? -What? No, Debs. 542 00:37:23,613 --> 00:37:28,577 Look, she is always on me about, you know, our plans for the night. 543 00:37:28,785 --> 00:37:31,872 When we're seeing her friend's band, what we are doing next week. 544 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,332 She likes hanging out with you. Not a crime. 545 00:37:34,541 --> 00:37:36,293 -I like Molly. -She's not my wife. 546 00:37:36,501 --> 00:37:39,713 Oh. She's a good person who does nice things for you. 547 00:37:39,921 --> 00:37:42,966 -What are you, her fucking lawyer? -No, I'm her best friend. 548 00:37:43,175 --> 00:37:44,760 You're acting like a douche bag. 549 00:37:44,968 --> 00:37:48,013 You want out, end it. You don't, stop treating her like garbage. 550 00:37:48,221 --> 00:37:52,601 Just because Karen wiped her ass with you doesn't give you the right to shit on Mandy. 551 00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:56,688 Guys, bad news. We all gotta dig tonight. 552 00:37:56,897 --> 00:37:59,691 City's coming and Frank can't find Aunt Ginger. 553 00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:02,694 -So? -Someone goes to jail if we don't find her. 554 00:38:02,903 --> 00:38:04,196 -Frank. -There's a body. 555 00:38:04,404 --> 00:38:06,198 We know about it. We're accomplices. 556 00:38:06,406 --> 00:38:08,533 Again, saddled with a mess we didn't create. 557 00:38:08,742 --> 00:38:11,244 Sooner we get out and dig, sooner it'll all be over. 558 00:38:11,453 --> 00:38:14,080 I still got blisters on my hand from yesterday. 559 00:38:14,289 --> 00:38:15,373 I can dig. 560 00:38:15,582 --> 00:38:18,335 I have pretty developed upper arms for a chick. 561 00:38:21,254 --> 00:38:25,383 -I need to borrow your turkey baster. -I don't want Molly to leave. 562 00:38:25,884 --> 00:38:29,095 -What's with her? -She got her period at the pool today. 563 00:38:29,930 --> 00:38:31,723 I can't wait to get my period. 564 00:38:31,932 --> 00:38:36,102 Mom said it's the body's tribute to female sacrifice. 565 00:38:41,817 --> 00:38:43,026 You're not a girl, honey. 566 00:38:43,235 --> 00:38:46,404 You're a boy who was raised by a jacked-up meth head of a mom... 567 00:38:46,613 --> 00:38:50,534 ...who made you think you were a girl because she hates men. 568 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,120 I'm not a girl? 569 00:38:54,329 --> 00:38:56,122 Lip? 570 00:39:03,922 --> 00:39:05,674 Debbie? 571 00:39:05,882 --> 00:39:07,425 It wasn't real. 572 00:39:08,134 --> 00:39:11,721 It was ketchup. They did it in front of everyone. 573 00:39:11,930 --> 00:39:15,767 -Who? -The girls at the pool. 574 00:39:15,976 --> 00:39:17,269 Debs. 575 00:39:18,728 --> 00:39:21,273 They're pretty and boys notice them. 576 00:39:21,481 --> 00:39:23,441 Well, they won't be pretty for long. 577 00:39:23,650 --> 00:39:28,029 They're gonna make all the bad decisions and you're gonna learn from their mistakes. 578 00:39:29,573 --> 00:39:32,242 Why do they have to be so mean? 579 00:39:34,494 --> 00:39:36,788 Some girls are just jerks. 580 00:39:37,289 --> 00:39:40,292 Like that chick at the store yesterday. 581 00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:44,754 Did I deserve that? No. But did I take her shit? No way. 582 00:39:44,963 --> 00:39:47,465 Because I'm better than that. And so are you. 583 00:39:47,674 --> 00:39:50,343 Nobody fucks with the Gallaghers. 584 00:39:54,806 --> 00:39:56,391 Debbie? 585 00:39:57,434 --> 00:39:59,227 Go away. 586 00:40:02,188 --> 00:40:03,315 Open the door. 587 00:40:21,499 --> 00:40:23,209 Come on. 588 00:40:24,461 --> 00:40:26,254 We gotta dig. 589 00:41:00,747 --> 00:41:02,624 I thought you took a vow of silence. 590 00:41:03,375 --> 00:41:06,419 That silence doesn't include the Internet? 591 00:41:09,589 --> 00:41:13,510 You have been blogging about me every day? 592 00:41:15,887 --> 00:41:17,263 I think I'm gonna puke. 593 00:41:17,555 --> 00:41:19,975 Muscle through it. We gotta find her. 594 00:41:20,183 --> 00:41:22,143 -Where'd Carl go? -Huh? 595 00:41:23,103 --> 00:41:25,480 -Ninja! -Carl, no! 596 00:41:28,149 --> 00:41:30,485 -Carl, no! -Oh, shit. 597 00:41:30,694 --> 00:41:32,612 Shit. Carl. 598 00:41:32,821 --> 00:41:35,824 -That kind of worked. -You get those from the fireworks stash? 599 00:41:36,032 --> 00:41:37,492 - Yeah. - Go get some more. 600 00:41:37,701 --> 00:41:38,868 Ian? 601 00:41:41,621 --> 00:41:43,123 It reeks out here. 602 00:41:43,540 --> 00:41:45,375 Hey, listen. 603 00:41:45,709 --> 00:41:49,004 Ah, man. About all the stuff just with my dad. 604 00:41:49,212 --> 00:41:52,799 Oh, my God. Why are we still talking about this? 605 00:41:53,008 --> 00:41:55,802 I mean, really? Christ. 606 00:41:56,011 --> 00:41:58,972 Okay, so, like, whenever you need me I'm, like, there for you... 607 00:41:59,180 --> 00:42:03,059 ...but the one time I need you, you're like, "Screw off"? 608 00:42:05,937 --> 00:42:09,482 Carl thinks he's a cancer survivor. 609 00:42:09,691 --> 00:42:13,111 Molly thinks she's a girl with a penis. 610 00:42:13,319 --> 00:42:16,322 Debbie's getting terrorized at the public pool. 611 00:42:16,531 --> 00:42:18,533 The yard smells like a sewer. 612 00:42:18,742 --> 00:42:22,537 I got three drunk assholes operating power tools behind me... 613 00:42:22,746 --> 00:42:26,249 ...and the bitches at work locked me in a bathroom today. 614 00:42:26,458 --> 00:42:28,126 Oh. 615 00:42:28,460 --> 00:42:32,088 And we all might be on the verge of going to prison. 616 00:42:32,630 --> 00:42:35,759 So you want to talk? Fine. 617 00:42:36,217 --> 00:42:37,385 Grab a shovel. 618 00:42:37,594 --> 00:42:42,015 Talk your face off about how your dad gave a blow job to a teenager. 619 00:42:42,223 --> 00:42:44,851 -But dig while you do it. -You know what? 620 00:42:45,060 --> 00:42:49,481 I'm really tired of playing this My Tragedy Is Bigger Than Your Tragedy game. 621 00:42:49,689 --> 00:42:53,943 My entire world got rocked and it's, like, not even on your radar. 622 00:42:54,152 --> 00:42:56,529 We're in a relationship. 623 00:42:56,738 --> 00:42:59,532 What's important to me should be important to you. 624 00:43:00,950 --> 00:43:02,285 Look at us. 625 00:43:02,494 --> 00:43:06,456 We are literally digging up a body. 626 00:43:06,664 --> 00:43:09,292 How do you even compare our situations? 627 00:43:16,674 --> 00:43:20,386 Huh. Aw, that's great, walk away. 628 00:43:21,930 --> 00:43:23,640 It's a real pussy move. 629 00:43:25,183 --> 00:43:27,727 Yeah, why don't you go cry to your gay dad about it? 630 00:43:32,816 --> 00:43:36,528 So I'll just be carrying it. And you two take it from me when it comes out. 631 00:43:36,736 --> 00:43:38,029 -Yes, Momma. -Lord knows... 632 00:43:38,238 --> 00:43:40,281 ...I'm too old to be raising an infant. 633 00:43:40,490 --> 00:43:43,368 It will be our child. It will be your grandchild. 634 00:43:43,576 --> 00:43:45,829 You were such a sweet baby. 635 00:43:46,037 --> 00:43:50,083 But Lord, were you a terrible eater. Ha, ha. 636 00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:53,044 You'd get it all up in your hair, and in your nose. 637 00:43:53,253 --> 00:43:54,796 Everything okay? 638 00:43:55,004 --> 00:43:57,215 Yeah, just a second. 639 00:43:57,423 --> 00:44:00,426 This comes the tricky part. 640 00:44:09,144 --> 00:44:11,646 Not much in there. We could have used an eye dropper. 641 00:44:11,855 --> 00:44:14,190 Jeez, Kevin. 642 00:44:21,573 --> 00:44:23,783 Bottoms up. 643 00:44:30,540 --> 00:44:32,834 Oh. Ooh. 644 00:44:33,042 --> 00:44:35,837 Warmer than I expected. Ooh, ha, ha. 645 00:44:42,844 --> 00:44:45,263 Okay, bedtime, gang. 646 00:44:45,471 --> 00:44:47,932 We'll start again in the morning. 647 00:44:48,141 --> 00:44:50,018 Fuck. 648 00:44:56,733 --> 00:44:58,526 Don't worry about your dweeb. 649 00:44:58,735 --> 00:45:01,779 He's just off licking his wounds. 650 00:45:02,197 --> 00:45:03,907 He'll be back. 651 00:45:05,325 --> 00:45:09,120 We Gallaghers sure know how to pick them, huh? 652 00:45:10,538 --> 00:45:12,706 See you in the morning. 653 00:45:24,802 --> 00:45:28,514 Hey, Karen, it's Lip. 654 00:45:29,307 --> 00:45:33,394 Just wanted to give you an update, wherever the fuck you are. 655 00:45:33,603 --> 00:45:36,814 Your kid, he's doing great. 656 00:45:37,232 --> 00:45:43,988 Um, your mom and ex-husband, they're, um... They're also doing great. 657 00:45:44,197 --> 00:45:48,868 My dad, who you fucked, he's doing great. 658 00:45:49,077 --> 00:45:50,703 And, uh... 659 00:45:52,789 --> 00:45:57,460 ...I'm doing really, really great. 660 00:45:58,211 --> 00:46:00,754 Just in case you were wondering. 661 00:46:02,756 --> 00:46:06,636 You selfish, ignorant, heinous piece of dog shit. 662 00:46:06,844 --> 00:46:09,013 Thank you for leaving and never coming back. 663 00:46:09,222 --> 00:46:14,936 You... We all owe you a huge fucking favor. 664 00:46:17,230 --> 00:46:19,357 You rock. 665 00:46:28,574 --> 00:46:32,578 Hey, let's go inside. 666 00:46:32,786 --> 00:46:35,039 Don't bring that with you. 667 00:46:35,373 --> 00:46:37,000 Come on. 668 00:46:59,397 --> 00:47:01,524 Hey, it's me. Uh... 669 00:47:02,567 --> 00:47:04,152 Just wondering where you are. 670 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:09,157 Call, text, whatevs. Bye. 671 00:47:25,631 --> 00:47:30,303 I mean, no wonder she flipped out. She's got so much on her plate. 672 00:47:30,511 --> 00:47:32,638 She needs me there for her. 673 00:47:32,846 --> 00:47:35,975 But I got to work on my stuff too. 674 00:47:37,352 --> 00:47:39,020 So hard for you. 675 00:47:39,228 --> 00:47:41,397 Poor Stevie. 676 00:47:42,315 --> 00:47:46,027 -You ready to go again? -Yeah. 677 00:47:48,654 --> 00:47:50,323 -Ugh! -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 678 00:47:51,783 --> 00:47:52,866 Fuck. 679 00:48:00,583 --> 00:48:02,876 I'm a dick. 680 00:48:03,086 --> 00:48:05,171 Mandy. 681 00:48:06,923 --> 00:48:11,469 I'm a dick. Can you come down? 682 00:48:23,981 --> 00:48:25,149 Hey. 683 00:48:25,358 --> 00:48:27,610 I'm not a tool. 684 00:48:31,155 --> 00:48:32,281 Yeah, I know. 685 00:48:32,490 --> 00:48:35,493 So you don't get to treat me like one. 686 00:48:37,036 --> 00:48:38,704 I know. 687 00:48:41,457 --> 00:48:43,292 Come down. 688 00:48:47,296 --> 00:48:49,424 Please. 689 00:49:47,482 --> 00:49:49,484 Hey. No, guys, guys. 690 00:49:49,859 --> 00:49:54,071 No fucking guns, all right? It's just a drunk old lady in there. 691 00:49:54,822 --> 00:49:55,865 Come on. 692 00:49:57,408 --> 00:49:58,784 Fuck. 693 00:50:31,359 --> 00:50:32,735 Where's Debbie? 694 00:50:32,944 --> 00:50:34,195 She's at the pool. 695 00:50:34,403 --> 00:50:36,864 We got to keep digging. 696 00:50:58,219 --> 00:51:03,516 -Got it? Oh, shit. Oh, come on. Fuck. -Ow. 697 00:51:04,267 --> 00:51:05,309 Oh, fuck. 698 00:51:05,518 --> 00:51:09,021 -Jesus Christ. -Hey, fuckers. 699 00:51:10,106 --> 00:51:12,233 Fuck. 700 00:51:13,609 --> 00:51:14,819 Fuckers. 701 00:51:15,444 --> 00:51:16,737 Fuck. 702 00:51:19,282 --> 00:51:20,866 No fucking way. 703 00:51:21,074 --> 00:51:25,454 Fuck. Fucking Ned. Are you fucking him too? 704 00:51:25,663 --> 00:51:27,373 Fucking drive. Drive, drive, drive. 705 00:51:27,582 --> 00:51:32,628 -You got shot, Mickey. -Yes, I fucking know I got shot. 706 00:51:47,268 --> 00:51:51,522 Remember. Do not sit on cushions, carpets, anything foam or porous. 707 00:51:51,731 --> 00:51:53,816 Say their names slowly and calmly. 708 00:51:54,025 --> 00:51:56,319 If you feel something crawling, don't scream. 709 00:51:56,527 --> 00:52:00,615 Just shake the body part lightly. Okay? Let's do this. 710 00:52:25,806 --> 00:52:28,976 -I'm just going to take another minute. -Take your time. 711 00:52:29,185 --> 00:52:31,771 -Are you kidding me? -Stay there. 712 00:52:31,979 --> 00:52:35,066 - Jesus. - Just one fucking old lady? Ow! 713 00:52:35,274 --> 00:52:36,359 Ow, ow. 714 00:52:36,567 --> 00:52:41,656 Well, if it isn't the toughest badass fag beater this side of the Chicago river. 715 00:52:41,864 --> 00:52:43,491 Fuck off. 716 00:52:54,877 --> 00:52:56,545 I'll show you some tits. 717 00:53:42,007 --> 00:53:44,885 - Fiona's fits better, doesn't it? - Sure. 718 00:53:56,105 --> 00:53:57,898 Oh, my. 719 00:53:58,107 --> 00:54:00,151 Almost done, Nicky. 720 00:54:19,712 --> 00:54:21,505 Ian, what the fuck? 721 00:54:21,714 --> 00:54:24,550 -I can explain this. -Who the hell are you? 722 00:54:27,428 --> 00:54:31,098 I'm Britney Sturges from Child Protective Services. 723 00:54:32,265 --> 00:54:34,560 She just walked in. 724 00:54:37,438 --> 00:54:38,647 Yes! 725 00:54:38,856 --> 00:54:42,610 Oh, my God, I totally almost drowned a slut. 726 00:54:42,818 --> 00:54:45,488 She was kicking and scratching but I held my breath... 727 00:54:45,696 --> 00:54:48,741 ...and hung on until she passed out. Oh, my God. 728 00:54:48,949 --> 00:54:54,121 Guess what? You do not F with Debbie Gallagher. 729 00:54:54,330 --> 00:54:56,749 -Don't F with me. -Debs.